"fake it till you make it"

The first time I treated someone in the clinic after a concussion, it was just as a fill-in.  That patient’s primary therapist, one of my coworkers and mentors, needed to schedule him with someone else.  I was within my first year as a physical therapist, and had not done any concussion-related coursework or continuing education.  But my coworker laid out the treatment plan, explained “enough” what was going on and things to watch for, what the next step would be, etc.

I knew this was coming for a day or two ahead of time.  And let me tell you, I was nervous.  Not only was I being trusted with the care of a patient with a head injury – about which I knew “enough”– but this was a patient of a very experienced, well-known and respected clinician.  He chose me.  Why? At the time, I figured it probably was because I had room on my schedule (and maybe it really was just that!) … but now I like to think a piece of it was that he saw something in me that I didn’t realize, something that would spark an interest in me as a young clinician, something to guide my way down a path I may not have otherwise taken.

I treated that patient. 

There was really nothing to be nervous about – the session went well, and that patient scheduled with me a few other times when the other therapist wasn’t available.  And then another person scheduled with me.  And another.  And somewhere along the line, I began to appreciate that this wasn’t just a “scheduling convenience” thing – it was because I was learning, I was enjoying it, and I was getting pretty good at it.  Doctors started referring their patients specifically to me.  I worked with my coworker and a few others, on a few programs and relationships at the clinic, community and state levels.

Fast forward another year or so, to when my husband accepted a job offer and we’d be moving back to our hometown (where we live now).  One of my requests in job interviews back here was to be able to work with runners and in concussion rehab.  I was told that would be feasible at the place I accepted a position.  I started up a program, got another therapist involved at the new clinic, drafted a letter to local physicians and community groups … and it never got off the ground.  I treated one patient with concussion in my two-plus years there.  Despite having the knowledge, experience and skills, I did not have the support structure.  I didn’t have the resources, the connections, the schedulers’ understanding of my skills.  I lacked the confidence of my coworkers to manage concussions to the level of someone with more years of clinical experience.  It was disheartening and frustrating, to say the least.

Fast forward again to 2018.  My daughter was born in July, and I decided not to return to my full-time position at that clinic at the end of my maternity leave, and to instead work a per diem position while figuring out what path I wanted to take my still-pretty-new career.  I used some of my leave time to keep up with continuing education, to get my “mommy brain” back in the right space.  It took a while to sort things out, balancing practicality and passion.  But in my heart, I knew that I needed to be on my own in order to treat the people I had so desperately missed working with since leaving Syracuse. 

Enter: Immersion PT.

As it stands today, my business operates under my terms.  I don’t contract with insurance companies, which can be limiting and restrictive as far as physical therapy coverage goes.  I see people at a time and place that is convenient for both of us.  I get to choose who I work with: runners, people with concussions, and people motivated to be generally healthy.

So that old saying, “fake it till you make it”??  Yep, that applies here.  ONE person entrusted me with the care of his patient, even though I knew next to nothing about that specialty.  ONE person – whether by his intent or coincidence – lit a fire within me to pursue something totally different from what I envisioned for myself.  I scrambled – or faked, if you will – my way through that first session, worked my way to becoming a highly-recommended therapist in the concussion management arena, took a little detour, and then started my own practice with a concussion as a main focus.

I still consider myself a young clinician and a work in progress (aren’t we all?), so maybe it’s not right to say I’ve already made it …

… but I’m making it. 

And that is a good feeling.