entropy.

Entropy is defined as a “lack of order or predictability; a gradual decline into disorder” (thank you, Webster!).  As in the Chaos Theory, nature trends toward disorder.

It takes energy to create and maintain order. 

It often takes longer to build things up than it does to tear them down. 

We see this in our own bodies: true muscular strength doesn’t develop or improve until several weeks into an exercise/strengthening routine, yet it is within only a few days that atrophy begins to occur. 

We see this in our food: it takes about 30 minutes to churn cream into butter, and just 30 seconds in the microwave or frying pan to melt it. 

We see this is in our society: for centuries, people of color have been oppressed – held back or held down (both literally and figuratively), disparaged, hated.  And for decades, activists have led the charge in promoting change, because ALL Americans were promised “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” once upon a time.  And for all of the energy that has been put into creating order and equality over those years, in a matter of MINUTES, with a knee to a neck, chaos has reared its ugly head. 

I’m not saying that our society wasn’t filled with chaos and disorder before this past week … but, it has certainly become more evident, and the call for change more urgent.  I’m also not saying that chaos shouldn’t have ensued after the unnecessary, brutal and tragic death of George Floyd … but, where do we go from here?  Can we truly resist entropy taking over and sending us into a deep downward spiral (even more than we already are) toward very dark, scary, and unknown things? 

I grew up in a predominantly white and fairly affluent suburban town, and I live in essentially the same town now.  In my graduating high school class of 270ish, there were FIVE people of color, and two of them were adopted into and raised by white families … so yeah, predominantly white is an understatement.  I went to college in a similar town.  And even though I attended graduate school in a city, I was still part of a medical university, right next door to a large private university, so again, not a whole lot of diversity.  My point here is that my life has severely lacked in exposure to diversity of all kinds.  And because of that, I am certain I have my biases, some of which have yet to be recognized, explored, understood and addressed … and because of that, I have to expect to work even harder for the sake of my daughter.

I will never understand the hardships that people of color have endured.  But I can stand with them – with YOU – my friends, brothers and sisters – and say “no more”.  And I can learn about the history (the stuff we didn’t learn in high school textbooks) and how it has shaped our present, and will affect our future. 

So I’m calling on you to help me.    

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let us put in the energy to create and maintain order.  Entropy – in many forms – will fight against us.  But it has been done before, and we can do it again.  As much as we need to take care of ourselves, we need to take care of each other.   Because at the end of the day, we are all human beings. 

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P.S. I wrote this post as a way to try to dice out my own emotions and thoughts surrounding the events in the past week.  Please know that I am doing my best to be supportive and promote change, even if I’m struggling to find the words or actions to do so right now.  I am open to conversation and welcome your ideas.

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P.P.S. I have no pictures to pair with this post.  We’ve all seen them, and maybe some are engrained in our minds forever: George Floyd’s death, the peaceful protests, the violent riots, police kneeling in solidarity with protesters…  A picture may be worth a thousand words, but I just could not find the right one to go with this post.